Criticism, etc.

Excellent! I’m very happy to yield such a crop of responses, and that people care enough to look at my blog, read such a long entry, think about what’s been said, and choose to respond with due consideration. Thanks to all involved!

Of course, [besides Jaime] I don’t know who left the comments (because y’all are so clever at being anonymous in response to the subject matter), but I’m totally fine with that. The positive things that were said to me in anonymity feel very good (I’m almost happier that they were anonymous, in this case). I plan on continuing to share random thought processes.

Originally, I was thinking about asking people to think about how they handle constructive criticism. Do you think you do well with it? Sometimes we are not in a proper mood or emotional condition to receive such criticism very well (even by genuine people we love), even though we ought to be ready to accept those things from those people in our life.

I completely agree that communication is extremely important in all of our relationships, and that we HAVE to communicate to have a healthy relationship.

In all truth, I wasn’t saying that we should have that sort of system [of anonymous criticisms and praises]… It was not my intent to suggest that we ought to utilize anonymous means to weasel out of tough communication. I simply wanted to touch on the issue of how we think we handle constructive criticism, and how welcome we are to it. Then I thought that for more interesting discussion, I should come up with some sort of “supposal” situation, and thought of what I posted about. Having half of the supposed message board be for positive things was a secondary thought, to even it out some, which I thought would add to the discussion.

I like thinking about supposals, and you should all be aware that I will offer more of them in the future. Also be aware that I do not necessarily endorse the supposals that I bring up. The intent is (and will be) to stir thoughts and discussion. I know that this supposal succeeded in getting us all thinking, for which I’m glad.

The thought HAD entered my mind that, once receiving anonymous criticisms, we might get hung up on “I wonder who said that…” – after thinking about it, I determined that all of us would probably not be able to help trying to figure it out. But, I thought I’d go ahead and bring up the “supposal” scenario anyway.

I realize that I ALSO need to improve at communicating things when I disagree with something or want to give someone a compliment or acknowledgment, or want to mention something that might be tough for someone to hear. I’ve spent a long time trying to get people in my life to realize that I am genuine. I care. You can come to me about anything – any subject. I will not break your confidence. I have been a mentor and confidant to many. I’ve been trusted with much. I am a good listener.
I will be there for you.

I joke around a lot. I like to laugh. I love to play. I am a child at heart, but can be “mature” when it comes to the matters where it is important to be so. I take responsibility for the results of my words and deeds. I don’t pretend to believe that I handle everything the best way. I have a long way to go, just like everyone else. I need to improve my patience when people and things cause my plans and intentions to be delayed, cancelled, or interrupted. I need to speak up! I need to not hold things in so much. I need to be more decisive. I need to tell people that I love them. I need to spend more time and effort making a difference in people’s lives, helping people to recognize their need for a Savior, and sharing the Good News. I need to get better at recognizing when I am placing too much value in something that really doesn’t matter. And there’s more, but we don’t need to keep going on about it right now…

Summary:

We need to communicate!!! :)
Before we offer criticism to someone, we need to make sure that we are doing it in love. Otherwise, we shouldn’t be saying it (or even thinking it).
When receiving criticism, we need to discern whether it is coming out of love or not. If it IS… we need to take it to heart.
We need to remember to share with people – share with each other – encouragements, acknowledgments, etc. We all know how great it feels when we receive those. Don’t withhold them from people.
Love.

+ Jesse +